I’m sure you have heard or read the statement “……love your neighbour as yourself”. Matthew 22:39-40. This is wise advice spoken by Jesus. However, few of us really know what this commandment is all about. Why? Because most people do not love themselves and in fact dislikes themselves a great deal!
How many of your neighbours would actually enjoy receiving from you the type of love that you give yourself? Not many I bet! Loving yourself is alien to the vast majority of people of our little blue planet because we have been taught to despise ourselves and find fault with almost everything we do. We compare ourselves to ideals that are impossible to match and then berate ourselves for being unable to meet our own high, and often unrealistic, expectations. Thus we generate self criticism for everything we do!
These patterns of low self-worth have been handed down to each and every one of us, to a greater or lesser degree, by our parents, peers and society. We are constantly being bombarded by messages that clearly, or subtly, suggest that we are just not good enough. Advertisements use this strategy a lot to make you feel inferior or less-than in order to convince you to buy their products – if only you had this skin cream then you would look like the 20 year old model in the commercial!
Even movies tell stories and have characters that are unrealistic. People ‘buy into’ the propaganda that is spun in these movies. Although they are only made for entertainment purpose people become so involved in them that they raise their own expectations to an unrealistically high level and then ‘beat themselves up’ for not attaining them!
Classic examples include: “I’m not good enough to hook-up with a girl that is so great every man wants her like Cameron Diaz in ‘Something about Mary'” and, “Why can I not meet a man like Richard Gere in ‘An Officer and a Gentleman’ and fix him so he loves me forever!”
The perfect relationships and perfect lives that you see on TV and in the movies do not exist! Yes, there are good, solid emotionally secure and loving relationships but every relationship has its problems!
Many people seek a partner to love them and fill the void that they feel inside. They use Hollywood images of perfection to build-up a dream in their heads that another person can “complete” them. This will never be the case!
You must first learn to love yourself before you can love your neighbour (or anyone else for that matter) in an unconditional way.
The first step to true unconditional love for yourself begins by stopping the process of expecting more from yourself than you are capable of. Of course you should always strive to grow as a person and never except mediocrity but neither should you expect a level of perfection that does not exist!
Stop berating yourself! Except that you are human and make mistakes. Embrace your weakness and take small steps to overcome your own inner obstacles. Congratulate yourself when you make progress – no matter how small!
Practice giving yourself some approval – for no other reason than you are alive and a child of the Divine! Remove from your mind your own limitations of self-doubt and inner criticism. Only then can you truly love someone else!
Would you like to remove all your inner limitations and live a life of unconditional love, joy and abundance? Then visit Release Technique to find out how you can easily achieve this aim!