We all value a friend who can listen. It doesn’t matter whether we are voicing our concerns, speaking passionately about our desires or interests, or just off-loading the stress and upsets of the day, we all need to be heard! However, although you like to be listened to how often do you listen to those closest to you?
Conversation is the cornerstone of all relationships. In order to be socially active in a relationship you need communication.
In fact, this goes for business relationships, or any other type of relationship, for that matter. Communication is the name of the game. Without it a relationship will stagnate and eventually die!
As human beings we are social creatures by our very nature and we driven to communicate our desires, fears, frustrations and aspirations. Unfortunately though, most people only engage in a conversation to have their say and rarely truly listen to the other person.
Many of us play the game of appearing to be listening to the other person while we are really waiting for our opportunity to interject and say what we want to.
Being listened to makes us feel validated and can give us a sense of connection with the person we are speaking to. You know how good it feels to off-load your troubles onto someone else who listens to you. The very act of verbalising your concerns to a willing listener can have a tremendous effect on a person. So, if being listened o affects you in this way how do you think someone else would feel if you actually truly listened to them?
In any type of relationship, but especially close relationships like those with a spouse, it is as important to open the channels of communication fully. This means that, not only should you be able to speak freely but, you should be able to listen carefully and attentively to the other person!
When a relationship breaks down it is usually because of poor communication. Each partner believes that the other does not understand them. This is almost always a direct result of bad communication or no communication at all.
Many people are aware that they must voice their concerns and be open about their desires in a relationship for it to have any chance of survival and growth. However, they are not aware just how important it is to listen to the other person’s concerns and desires.
If you want your relationships to start t work in ways that are empowering and supportive of both partners then you must learn to listen.
Listening to the other person does not mean merely remaining quiet while the other one speaks. It is about understanding. You must really listen to what the person is saying without judgement or preconceived notions. Listen to what the person is saying and not what you think they are saying.
Many times we assume that a person means one thing when in fact we have no evidence to support that belief. If you are listening to someone and you are unsure what the true meaning is behind what they are say ask them to clarify it! Do not assume you know what they mean.
When you speak freely and listening openly you will be surprised at how strong and supportive your relationships become!