Many people know the term IQ, which stands for Intelligence Quotient, but have never heard of EQ. For many the term EQ, or Emotional Intelligence, sounds contradictory. But with EQ there’s no contradiction. EQ is a key tool in having the ability to get your own way. It has been shown that people with high EQ do much better than those with low EQ and high IQ.
I know this sounds messy so let me explain. People with higher Emotional Intelligence (which I will explain shortly) do better than people who are highly intelligent. It was once believed, and is still believed by many, that intelligence gets you ahead in the world but scientific studies are showing that high intelligence is not a mark of leaders or high achievers. Instead truly successful people exhibit a high EQ!
EQ is not to be confused with being “emotional”! Essentially EQ is the strong foundation upon which high achievers build their accomplishments. As such it’s high up on the list of study for anybody interested in success!
No one can survive or succeed on their lonesome and unless one has the talents to get people’s co-operation, success becomes slippery. This is where your ability to embrace the concept of developing high EQ comes in.
Developing a healthy level of EQ has two major benefits. Firstly it’s about handling oneself and second it’s about understanding how to handle other people. Yet, experience teaches us, that many people still use tasteless styles in an attempt to persuade, or coerce, others to cooperate with them.
So the initial place to start building your EQ is, of course, with oneself. For ladies this should be a much easier thing to accomplish than it is for men. Historically boys are taught that showing their feelings is in some way “sissy” and that acknowledging your emotions is un-man like. So from a particularly early age males are taught to suppress their feelings (altogether a disastrous thing to do).
Boys are taught, either explicitly or implicitly, that expressing emotions is a source of shame. Therefore many men suppress their feelings do deeply that they end up feeling nothing! – No joy, nor unhappiness nor excitement.
However, feelings have a habit of coming back to bite you! At some point there’ll be an explosion! Fury, rage or anger is often an unsettling emotion and in cases of long term emotional suppression, this is the one emotion that breaks through the most often.
Unfortunately, if you suppress the emotional system that causes you to feel alive, then feeling angry is the only time you will feel alive – and this can become addictive!
But basically suppressing feelings means shutting off a robust source of info – info that permits one to govern one’s existence and even regulate one’s thoughts. If you are feeling a negative emotion it is only because you are harbouring negative thoughts – change the thoughts and the emotions will change instantly. By looking for a better-feeling thought you can slowly work your way up the emotional scale to reach calmness or even a place of joy – on thought at a time. Try it and see!
Feelings are a powerful system offering helpful feedback about the selections we are making. Bad calls make us feel uncomfortable and this pain works very similar to a caution light in a motorcar. When something’s inaccurate a light alerts us to act, to do something to switch the situation. It is the same with our feelings.
Emotions offer a stream of feedback that may be decoded like a language. As an example, anger is a clear message informing us we are not getting our own way and that we are wanting to control a situation, event or person. Screaming at somebody rarely helps. If you wish to find a solution instead of entertaining the problem, and the emotional connection you have with it, then you are better reaching a calm, clear-headed state from which to devise a plan.
So my advise is to seek information that will help you gain a higher EQ and therefore be more able to respond to situations rather than react to them. Although it is out of the scope of this article there are other MAJOR benefits to eliminating negative emotions which are better described at Sedona Method.